So moving on with my life while this divorce is happening I am learning a lot about myself and the things I want and things I do not want.
But today I have learned something unexpected. (this isn't the time or place to give you 100% detail)
But I have been thinking of something a lot and praying for it just as much and slowly am learning that it isn't in Gods plan for me (at least as of now, so I can't say never). But this THING just wont leave my mind or feelings.
As of today if this THING and I were to ever become more, I feel its like putting butter on a turd and calling it toast! Not saying I or this thing are the turd but, the way life is for the thing and I are the turd. everything is upside down for me and I am on a spinney toy and being told to walk straight as for the THING it doesn't know what way is up and I can't help it right now! I have found the bread I am looking for, it is in God and I am just learning how to be good butter and this THING is just holding me back for being 100% in the word and being a real follower!
I know that this probably wont make any since but I needed to vent and still keep what it is to myself!
Thanks and have a blessed NIGHT!
God has great plans for me Just wished My human needs would leave me while I learn what I need to learn! I am not meaning sex, food, water, etc...
but this brain I carry with me never stops. My thought start here then go there and then sometimes never moves! I am just so not enjoying this mind game I play with myself. I want to be with God yet I don't know anyone who will walk the walk and talk the talk with me, at the same time I want to do this on my own...I see the great things God does for so many including myself but wish I could share that with someone or have them share that to me!
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